Today, I was in a back office at the store waiting for the next few hundred seconds of my life to shuffle by in embarrassment. In said office there is an intercom playing an active audio feed from outside, where there is noise coming from both a Sirius satellite radio and a television.
At one point, the TV was playing an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. The Sirius radio, meanwhile, was tuned to the “90s on 9″ channel and was playing “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm” by the Crash Test Dummies.
The mingling of these two programs through the intercom made it sound as if the song — which, as you already know if you are familiar with it, is enigmatic, childlike, melancholy, and thoroughly terrible, though you needn’t take my word for it thanks to YouTube — was a surreal soundtrack to the grim goings-on with Vincent D’Onofrio (who is really chunking back up to Private Pyle levels of late) and associates. Soon I found myself making up my own matching verse:
Once, there was this guy who
Stabbed his wife a dozen times and tried to get away with it
But then, these two detectives
Came…by…
And saw right through all his lying
He couldn’t quite explain it
The knife had just beeeeeeen theeeeeeere
I could hardly let this masterwork go unappreciated by the world, and so here we are.
Incidentally, I never knew until looking up the song just now that the Crash Test Dummies were from Canada. But it figures, now doesn’t it?
