I’m sitting here tonight nursing a beverage and pondering this crazy consumer-driven whore of a world in which we live. A URL for an ebay auction of a wedding dress has been making the rounds this week. There is about a 0.0047% chance you haven’t seen it yet, but in case you haven’t, it’s right here.

If you have already visited, or if you are just now coming back from seeing it, you’ll recognize it as just some funny bastard cracking wise about his ex and life in general in an extremely witty fashion. However, the absolute phenomenon this link has become in only a day or so is astounding to me. I was first sent this link oh…I don’t know, four hours ago. In that time, this page has received 585,000 hits, and the item in question has gotten about $1500 more expensive. And from reading his updates, people are already going crazy for him.

The sad fact is, this man is the new “I didn’t do it boy”…an overnight celebrity. I can almost hear the audible “pop” of fansites sprouting up around the net like thirsty blades of new spring grass. I would wager the going price of that dress that the man has already been offered a book deal and/or a movie contract. Somewhere out there, William Hung is gazing at that page, crestfallen, and saying, “That’s it, I’m finished.”

You’ll soon start to see imitators cropping up. Auctions for tuxes, rings, and even garter belts—all with not-as-good attempts at darkly humorous tales of broken relationships—will show up in predictable “me too” fashion. Tom Arnold will go on ebay to sell Roseanne’s wedding dress (size 34!) in an attempt to jump start his flagging comedy career. The seller of the dress will show up on Spike TV with his own “bitter breakup sale” show (each show starts with a white blotch covering his face which disappears with a flamboyant flash to reveal America’s new favorite bachelor!).

Admit it: it sounds ridiculous, but eerily plausible. This is what our culture has become. You know Warhol’s 15 minutes of fame? These days, the media squeeze that particular orange until the rind is dry enough to crumble into dust, and then they lie in wait until the next ripe and juicy one causes the slightest stir with the public. And people seem to suck it up like thirsty third graders out of sippy cups. It’s nothing if not disconcerting. It makes me feel a little dirty to jump on board with any fad anymore, because all I see in my mind is some greasy-faced suit in a boardroom somewhere, rubbing his hands together wildly in the process of concocting the many different ways in which the unsuspecting public’s discovery of a fresh new bit of entertainment can make him money.

This guy with the wedding dress is funny, and for that he deserves attention. He seems like a smart guy, so I hope he’s able to ride the exploitation machine without getting run over.