Although the 90s were really my decade in terms of music, film, literature, and overall attitude, I grew up during the 80s. So of course I was largely shaped by that decade of flagrant excess and all its art and culture. Just like every decade, the 80s can only be truly judged based on the single most important contribution that any generation can make to our history: its cartoons.

Now, whether you were boy or girl, nobody can deny that the 1980s gave birth to scads of totally kick-ass cartoons. Some of them, like Transformers, Jem, G.I. Joe, DuckTales, and Thundercats still hold up well today, their nostalgic appeal backed up by some measure of actual quality or, failing that, enjoyable cheese. Others, particularly He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, are truly cringe-worthy to modern eyes. (Who ever realized back then how homo-erotic this show was, with its beefcakey heroes in fur Speedos?)

What were the defining characteristics of those beloved cartoons that played babysitter for so many of us? Well, nearly all of them were half-hour commercials for toys: As marketing vehicles for countless figures and playsets they were brilliant in their execution, and I gobbled all of it up with the most gluttonous appetite that my parents’ checking account would allow. They all had opening sequences with far better animation than the actual show, sort of a bait-and-switch maneuver. In fact, many of them re-used the same animation sequences over and over and over again. (Like the bank logo on an old ATM screen, I have the clip of He-Man running up to the camera and throwing a punch seared forever onto the surface of my brain. I think there were maybe eight original frames of animation in any given episode of that show, tops, and these were reserved for when a new toy came out.)

One of the biggest differences between then and now however, and the one I want to address today, concerns messages. When I go back and revisit one of those classic animated series from the 80s, I’m awestruck by how thick they were with meanings and morals. I’d completely forgotten. Every episode of every show featured some kind of journey by one or more of the characters, at the end of which a Very Important Lesson was learned. Don’t talk to strangers. True friends look out for each other. Say no to drugs. Good boys don’t tell on Daddy when they catch him in bed with girls who aren’t Mommy.

Okay, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea. If only little Pik had told the truth from the start, Captain Awesome wouldn’t have almost been defeated by Trogdor the Burninator and none of this would have ever happened. And so on. Every show was just rife with it, and to watch them nowadays, it’s actually pretty obnoxious. And if it wasn’t enough that the entire episode was choked with ham-fisted expository dialogue about Doing the Right Thing, often one of the characters would appear at the end to address the kids directly and hammer it into their heads some more.

In the 90s and onward, these heavy-handed teachings have been severely muted in cartoons, if not removed altogether. Some will say it’s for the best: after all, how entertaining would it have really been to watch a Very Special Christmas Episode where Butthead shares a hug with Beavis after learning the true spirit of giving? I sure as hell wouldn’t have watched it. And all the rampant sharing and caring does make a lot of those old cartoons seem cheesy, in much the same way that sitcoms of that period do. In fact, the subversive cartoons of the 90s were most likely a rebellion against those old standards, which is part of what made them so much fun. But What Does It All Mean?

Some people will point to it as evidence of a declining moral standard. It may, in fact, be just another symptom of whatever it is in our society that’s made good parenting unfashionable lately. But in spite of how much all that unsolicited morality makes me squirm today, I don’t do drugs, I don’t talk to strangers, and I try to be respectful of people. It’s hard to argue with results, and maybe there’s yet another lesson to be learned from all this.