Right when I thought I was safe — when each tentative breath gave way to a more confident, relaxed one — I’ve been tagged again. Just like that. This time the culprit is the mysterious Jennipher, a Canadian with a phonetically confusing name who has, with a bold tap of her virtual hand, conferred upon me the duty of sharing my Five Favorite Books with you, the answer-hungry public. How could I say no to a girl who loves blueberries?

While it may come as a surprise to some, I actually am not a prolific reader. This is partly because I am writing my own novel, and wish to prevent too many outside influences from creeping into the body of that project. Also, I’m a hardcover whore. When I purchase books I always seek out the hefty jacketed volumes because I like how they retain their shape after numerous read-throughs, and because they will look very fine upon the towering shelves of the library I hope to have in my labyrinthine future dream home. Because I favor hardbound books, I’m prevented from affording too many. It doesn’t make much sense, but it’s how I operate.

Anyway, you came here to read about favorite books, so I won’t stand on ceremony any longer.

1) Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

The first book, and my favorite to date, is one I discovered in my high school library. I vaguely remember that I was there avoiding a class and wanted to look like I had a purpose for being there, so I picked a book of the shelves at random and made a show of reading it. I didn’t expect to like it much, since it was about war. But the first chapter grabbed me, I ended up borrowing it, and loving it…and it’s been an inspiration to me ever since.

This novel is morbid and hilarious. Anyone with a taste for clever wordplay (and I find that most of the people I get along with have one) will find things to like about this book, its myriad of oddball characters and its witty dance routines with the English language. Ones like this:

“I didn’t say you couldn’t punish me, sir.”
“When?” asked the colonel.
“When what, sir?”
“Now you’re asking me questions again.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid I don’t understand your question.”
“When didn’t you say we couldn’t punish you? Don’t you understand my question?”
“No, sir. I don’t understand.”
“You’ve just told us that. Now suppose you answer my question.”
“But how can I answer it?”
“That’s another question you’re asking me.”
“I’m sorry, sir. But I don’t know how to answer it. I never said you couldn’t punish me.”
“Now you’re telling us when you did say it. I’m asking us to tell us when you didn’t say it.”
Clevinger took a deep breath. “I always didn’t say you couldn’t punish me, sir.”

2) Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

I love dark humor, and nobody writes it with more wit and beauty than Neil Gaiman. This novel evokes the darker elements of some classic “children’s” literature like Lewis Carroll’s Alice books or L. Frank Baum’s Oz series (to which the movie bears little resemblance), with their twisted allegorical mirror-worlds. This book also contains lots of wordplay and punnery, woven through a shadowy fantasy world that really drew me in.

3) The Dunwich Horror and Others by H.P. Lovecraft

I know that many people consider Edgar Allen Poe to be the king of American horror fiction, and don’t get me wrong…I love him. But nothing written by Poe ever gave me such a sense of dread as several of the stories written by New England’s own Howard Philips Lovecraft. I listed this particular collection because it contains several of my favorites, including The Shadow Out of Time, The Haunter of the Dark, The Colour Out of Space, and of course, The Call of Cthulhu. But you don’t even have to purchase a hardcover to enjoy all of Lovecraft’s incredible stories…you can read them online right here.

4) Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson

Imagine a novel about a world that has gone online. Where everybody meets and socializes over the computer networks, choosing a flattering avatar to represent themselves in the virtual world. Where advertising is ubiquitous, with corporate logos blazing everywhere you look. Where the government has become more like a business with its own interests. Where the lines between law and crime have blurred and making money is the only goal anyone seems interested in.

Now imagine that novel was published in 1992. Almost Nostradamus-like, wasn’t it? But there’s a lot more to this novel than just predictions that are startlingly close to having come true today. A very funny first chapter, a cynical view of the direction we’re headed in as a society, and philosophical insights into the ways we communicate with one another are at the center of Snow Crash. One of the few good things I’ve brought with me from any of my past relationships.

5) A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore

This is a relatively new addition to the list. I picked it up off the table at Barnes & Noble and bought it based on the cover illustration and the jacket description alone. That’s right…I judged a book by its cover. And my judgment earned itself some major brownie points with me that day.

This book is dark, witty and silly…my three favorite traits in anything, really. It’s about a nervous beta male who loses his wife during childbirth, only to discover months later that he has been recruited as Death. Or at least, a Death. You see, Grim Reaperdom is a little different from what most of us believe. Charlie does the job by acting as a second-hand junk dealer. There’s a ton of funny, snappy dialogue to be found; it’s one of the few books in memory that’s made me laugh out loud so often all throughout.

So, there you have it. My Five Favorite Books of the moment. If you have any respect for me at all, please read all of them. If you don’t, at least read one. Even someone you have no respect for is bound to be right one time out of five, right?

I should be resuming with a regular blog entry tomorrow. Meanwhile, to carry on the chain, I tag–…Hey look, an orangutan riding a tandem bicycle!!!