Setting: a ballroom, where a crowd is dancing, mingling and eating. Female models sit alone in separate places in the room, looking sad, desperate, and basically pitiful. Everything is black and white.

ANNOUNCER: "The sadness. The humiliation of not having a companion. Now that is all in the past, with "Miscellany", the perfume from Essence de Monaco. It is alluring, enchanting, and best of all, its fragrance is different for each woman who wears it."

MAN (approaching a woman): "May I have this dance?"

She gets up and they begin to dance.

MAN: "Mmmm... Is that the scent of old tires?"

The woman smiles knowingly at the camera.

WHISPERING FEMALE VOICES: "Miscellany... Miscellany..."

2ND MAN (dancing with a different woman): "Ahhhhh. My dear, you have the fragrance of melting styrofoam. It is so... seductive."

WOMAN: "It's Miscellany. From Monaco."

WHISPERING FEMALE VOICES: "Miscellany... Miscellany..."

3RD WOMAN (at a food table, on the arm of a 3rd man): "Two glasses of champagne, please."

MAN: "Darling, do I detect the acrid scent of wet duck?"

WOMAN: "Maybe you should get a little closer and find out!"

WHISPERING FEMALE VOICES: "Miscellany... Miscellany..."

ANNOUNCER: "No man can resist a woman wearing Miscellany... no matter what scent she gives off."

4TH WOMAN (at a man's apartment): "What is it about me that you find most attractive? Is it my hair? My eyes? My winning charm?"

MAN: "Well, I'd have to say it's because you have the wonderful scent of an entire room full of mimeograph machines."

WOMAN: "Oh, baby, you say the most beautiful things!" They kiss.

Back at the party:

MAN (sniffing at the air): "Hey, I smell a gas leak! Everybody, run! Get out!" Much panic as the crowd runs around and scrambles out the doors.

WOMAN (turning to camera): "It'll be our little secret!" She winks.

ANNOUNCER: "Miscellany, from Essence de Monaco."

Switch to picture of a set of Miscellany perfume next to a full-size horse saddle.

ANNOUNCER: "And now, this saddle is yours free with any $45 Miscellany purchase."

Hey, smell that? Seems like it's coming from Nonsense! Better get back there and see what's going on!